this will be a night to untag.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
