I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
