wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
