dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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