I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The feeling are messing with the penis
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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