Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The uberlube is also flammable
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I smell like Dick and happiness
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
