There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
