Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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