I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
where does the pee come out of this thing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
