She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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