I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
