it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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