If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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