you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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