Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
