If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
