My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
