Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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