Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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