you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
