id be glad to
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
