At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
