hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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