this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
