dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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