So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
