So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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