the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
