He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
