Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
