he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
