It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
