Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
