Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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