My friends, they love my intelligence
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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