sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
