I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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