We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
