I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
