Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
