Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
