so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
