I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
