how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
