question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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