so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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