I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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