what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
