You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
