I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
