wakey wakey hands off snakey
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
