bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
