So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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