this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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