well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
