Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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