I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize