how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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