So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We left the knife in your bed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
